Baby You Spaghetti
by ThePhagersUnderYourBed
Summary: Out of nowhere, Harry Potter rode in on a whale carrier and started handing out candy canes. "FOUR FOR XIGBAR, YOU GO XIGBAR, AND NONE FOR MANSEX BYE."   Please read Author's Note inside.


**AN: Hannah and Neddy return with a random piece of shit. This is what happened when we tried writing a SERIOUS Zemyx fanfiction together. We ended up aiming to include EVERY SINGLE Inside joke we've ever had together, although we're sure we missed at least a thousand. Anyway. Even if you don't understand half the shit in this fanfiction, they're all from either the following fanfictions:**  
** -MelloxMatt**  
** -Zemyx**  
** -My Immortal**  
** -KH/Death Note Crossovers**

** If the jokes are NOT From a fanfiction, its from a youtube video OR a joke from our forum.**

**Before you flam, be aware that we KNOW that the writing format is incorrect. We know. That was our intention. It was meant to be stupid.**

**Flames will be used to keep Roxas warm at night. Wink. Wink.**

** ENJOY ZE RANDOM**

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One day at school Demyx was there and a magical unicorn burst into the room and asked if Demyx had any cookies. Demyx gave the unicorn a cookie and then the unicorn died and Demyx's face was like (O.o). Then he cried because there was no Kira and then Mello rode in on the Mellomobile and then Sora came in and he shot near in the face.

Axel walked in holding a can of spray-on just for men and Roxas tackled him. "UPUPUPUPUP" Axel yelled, putting his arms around Roxas "Such a waist." He said, pulling them both up. Roxas giggled. "I have something to tell you Axel." Roxas said "What?" Asked Axel. "I am a man. At least I think I am. I don't think I am a woman." Roxas said. "Good cause I aint raisin' no babies." Axel did a ghetto head wave. Larxene then walked in and tripped over a table and nobody knew where she went. Sora stared at the spot she had been standing in before she fell. "…She said DOOF."

Mello burst into tears (!) and then he started poking a drumstick through his fingers "?"

Larxene adjusted her comfy boob holder and sighed because she felt like an eighteen year old schoolboy. Suddenly, the Rat King burst in and said, "I DYE MY HAIR." Lighto stroked his mustache and screamed "April fool!"

Marluxia and Zexion were in the corner asking whether or not Huxtable and Owl were proper houses in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry while B'loody Mary was teaching Kairi Japanese. Saix and Xemnas were dancing on the teachers desk and Namine yelled out "WHAT IS THIS BOYS GONE WILD?" The teacher, who was gagged and tied to a chair yelled out "SHEPARD OF JUDEA THIS IS INNAPRORPRIATE BEHAVIOR." Sora was admitting to Riku how he liked the taste of human blood. Riku admitted he was a vampire. "Really?" Sora asked. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Riku responded. Xigbar walked into the room. He had a horrible headache. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHER FUCKERS?"

Marty Mcfly ran in. "HOLD THE SHIT," he screamed, "WHICH OF YOU MEDIOCRE DUNCES STOLE MY TIME MACHINE?"

Meanwhile, Mello and Lighto were having a Latin stand off on which one of them got to shit next to Maxluxia. "FUCKING ATTACK!" Mello yelled at his Magikrap,

Suddenly, Xigbar burst in and started singing goffik 50 Cent. "WHOO HOO!" Sora screamed, streaking through the room, "I'M NAKED."

"WAIT SORA." Riku yelled, chasing after the naked Sora. "LET ME PUT MY THINGY INTO YOUR YOU KNOW WHAT." They both ran out of the room. Roxas was crying because even though he was a sadist he felt bad for performing the Crookshanks curse on Xaldin. Meanwhile, Vexen was telling Demyx about how his entire body was in like, bondage while he was at Marluxia's house the night before while Demyx, being naked, began doing something more mature. Namine and Misa were whispering about how Roxas made Namaine feel all hot and bothered, almost like an eructation but she didn't get one because she's a girl you sickos. Lexaues sat in a corner, trying to control his red whites.

Xigbar was now skipping around the room with a hat on his head (because that's where hats go). Ahh, bless him, Roxas thought.

Somewhere outside a dog barked, and Mello flipped the fuck out. Meanwhile, Lighto was dealing with a wasp. "THAT IS A WASP," he said, "IT IS NOT A FUCKING BEE. YOU STAND THE FUCK STILL AND HOPE YOU ARENT THE SHIT IT MESSES UP AND THEN YOU RUN THE FUCK HOME."

"Paq you!" Marluxia screamed at the wasp. He started singing: "I'M PROUD TO BE BROWN."

"PATO," Matt shouted to Riku. "I HATE YOU WITH MY GUTS."

Luxord and Xaldin were sitting in the back corner and Luxord was crying and explaining to Xaldin how "Dey don't make fun of da blahks. Or da wites. And da gays dey get all dis respek. BECAUSE THEY'RE BAKLAH. I'M TIRED OB IT." He ran out of the room crying (!) Zexion had pushed Saix and Xemnas off the table and was now doing the Soulja boy on the desk while Demyx was staring at him, singing "ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO LEMME SEE YOUR PEACOCK." Loudly, Axel quickly put on a bikini and began to dance along to Demyx's song. You could still hear Luxord crying from down the hall "WHAT IS SO DIPRENT ABOUT MEEE? WHAT IS SO PIKEN DIPRENT(?)" Xaldin was running down the hall after him "LUXORD. LET ME HELP YOU BEFORE YOU DIE!" Ansem peeked his head out from another classroom, yelling after Xaldin "SHUT UP. You don't know ANYTHING."

Out of nowhere, Harry Potter rode in on a whale carrier and started handing out candy canes. "FOUR FOR XIGBAR, YOU GO XIGBAR, AND NONE FOR MANSEX BYE."

Meanwhile, Roxas had started singing. "SHE WAS HALF BLACK HALF CAUCASIAN, AT FIRST YO, I THOUGHT SHE WAS ASIAN."

"HAVE WE ALL JUST BROKEN THE LAW?" Riku cried, distressed.

"Oh no!" Mello said. "My ipof is on fire!"

"I HATH TELEKINESIS," yelled Marluxia proudly.

As this was happening, Xion was staring out the window, watching Snap and Lumpkin masticate to Larxene's Pooding. Meanwhile, L was laying down in the corner, he appeared to be sobbing in his sleep but with no tears. "Don't go Light." He cried. Matt was crying because he had admitted that he was nears brother and Mello gave him a weird look so he burst into tears (!) "Im sorry I gave you that look Matt." "Its okay, lets make out." Matt responded, suddenly happy. "Well its worth a go I suppose." Mello responded, leaning into kiss him. Before their lips touched Mello whispered "If I were an enzyme, I'd be a helicase so I could unzip your jeans." Matt giggled. "Woah, feisty calm down." They started making out and then Axel shot Near in the face.  
Sora and Riku re-entered, they appeared to be having a telepathic conversation.

Riku, I do not want to lose you. I love you too much.  
I know, I love you too. You will not lose me, stop worrying so much!  
How can I not? Besides I can tell you are worried as well.  
Fuck you Sora.  
I would love you to.

"Xigbar you smell like sex." Tifa said. "Its Xaldins fault." Xigbar looked away from her. "Pato." He finished.

Axel was asking Roxas a question. "If I were an endoplasmic reticulum, would I be smooth or rough?" Roxas looked deep in thought for a second "Definitely rough." He nodded. "Okay good" Axel said.

"Hey, Sora," Riku was saying, "I was just wondering if you were gay."

"Are you making love?" Marluxia added.

Sora turned red. "MARLY DON'T THINK YOU KNOW ME BECAUSE I DONT SO YOU DON'T SO DON'T THINK YOU DO BECAUSE YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG." He stomped off, Riku trailing behind him at an even pace. "SORA. What's the problem?"

Larxene smiled and said "HARHARHAR" and then Kira became a lawyer and all was well.

**~~~~~ THIS IS JAPANESE MAN/WATARI, YO, TELLIN YOU TO HIDE YO L, HIDE YO MATT, AND HIDE YO MELLO, CAUSE LIGHT'S KILLIN ERREBODY OUT THERE~~~~**


End file.
